and the fall air is as crisp
as it is sweet and the world is changing colors and I am lost, as always all my loose threads waving like the falling leaves so it is, so it goes - Atlas
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I am starting to trace out the edges
of the difference between things that are fine because there's really no trouble and things that are fine because they have to be fine. sometimes I think I try too hard to be positive, and miss the opportunity to be warm and genuinely compassionate - Atlas I am making new mistakes,
as always but these ones feel more like a backslide than anything always a fun feeling - Atlas I still don't quite know
how to move forward. time will flow past me regardless, but there is a difference between wading out into the waves and letting the sand be pulled from beneath your feet. bluh - Atlas come to think of it,
we are not so far from those ancestors of ours who made the cave paintings. I do not envy their harsh lives but some part of me yearns to sing and laugh with them, to let them know that the threads that bind us are still burning bright. idk where I'm going with this man XD - Atlas sometimes I forget that winter ends.
I curl up like a tiny flower just beneath the soil’s surface, afraid of the frost, afraid of the sun. what if I am not what the spring needs me to be, what if I unfold and you are left disappointed, wanting. but spring came anyway. and as the world thawed I felt myself rising unbidden, into a world where newfound leaves on long-grown trees whisper in sweet harmony into a world where the birds sing a song worth hearing. into a world with you. I am still afraid. but you make me want to try, to climb as you climb, to strive towards your sun. you taught me that blooming wasn’t about being enough. and I know that everything ends. but just this once I think I can believe in beginning, again. I do love my friends - Atlas please understand that
there will always be something left undone and for all that these things might hang above our heads like storm clouds they are also reasons to smile at the morning sun there's a thought here and I'm not sure if I've articulated it (idk if I could even articulate it in prose. it's late and I'm tired XD) - Atlas every day I am
astounded and amazed by how much I love my friends. despite being many miles apart I bring them with me into coffee shops and clothing stores, casual conversations and across state lines. I think of them and I want to be better, not out of guilt or regret but because they are so good and where they go I want to follow. I'm so lucky and it's so hard to explain - Atlas so you failed.
so it matters. and? is this the end? there is still breath in your lungs, you have yet time to try again. just make sure you actually try something different - Atlas it would be easier to share if
my heart, unedited weren't pressed between these pages if I could somehow hide those unpolished sides away until I felt ready to share them, leaving only the things that are beautiful (or at least ugly on purpose.) & yet to do so would betray the honesty that bid me to write in the first place. me and how I occasionally want to share this blog with my friends, but the thought of people reading my unedited 2am poetry makes me nervous XD (but at the same time I don't want to make the page private because its raw nature is the POINT) - Atlas |
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