a challenge:
before I do it, it is impossible. after I do it, anyone could manage it. it seems that there is some contradiction here. maybe, just a little - Atlas
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and oh,
I am not alone. I am really not alone. and I know how difficult it can be to stay connected but sometimes all it takes is saying "yes" not much of a poem, but It Exists! hurray - Atlas sunsets always feel
bittersweet to me and yet if the sun never set this world would be nothing but a barren husk. I would never get to see the stars, which have been friends to me throughout my life. not all change is bad - Atlas it does not belong to me, I say
willing my heart’s hands to unclench. it has never belonged to me. loving something does not make it belong to me. my heart clings to the attachment still, like a child with a stuffed toy. I cannot bring myself to tear it away. it does not belong to me - Atlas I am being uprooted
again. It is a good and important process, I know and I know I will be better for it. But oh, how the soil that once nourished me begins to tear at my roots. a bit of sadness, a bit of fear, a bit of longing for something not yet lost (but there is good there, too. I think sometimes part of growing up is being able to feel many emotions at the same time.) - Atlas the truth is I'm very scared.
the truth is I'm terrified and I don't want to be, but I've got to feel the feeling and understand it before it can pass over and through me. I'm tackling something that's important to me but that doesn't guarantee success, even with effort (though effort does increase the likelihood of success quite a bit) - Atlas I will miss you.
I will miss this time we've spent. which I guess is just another way of saying I'm grateful for it now. I want to bask in every moment of my life - Atlas I want to live my life in such a way
that my life is always blessed, regardless of my circumstances. and not even in a religious sense, per se - Atlas I see the long road stretching out
before us and it frightens me sometimes, the way that however it twists and turns someday our paths will depart from one another and never return. but there is good there also, for this is also the road that brought us together, the one that has allowed us to walk side by side for as long as we have. in the end I think it's neither good nor bad, or maybe it's both. I'm still figuring things out, and something tells me I always will To my future self: if you think you've got it figured out, this is your sign to do some questioning! gotta keep things fresh, you know? - Atlas they say that creation is holy
but how can it be holy to create something imperfect-- and yet on some level I understand it, how despite the way that the universe has made it easier to destroy than to create, we are here in a world as full and rich as this one. maybe it would be easy to create if you knew it would be perfect. maybe that’s the point. maybe the holy thing is to sing with a faltering voice into the uncertain darkness, not knowing if it will ever reach anyone or mean anything. to still sing anyway. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm still trying. - Atlas |
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