no hard feelings--
only soft feelings, only messy feelings, feelings that never fit inside one box or another. but they will not cut you, I will not let them. hmmmmmm - Atlas
0 Comments
my therapist once told me 19 was still young
is 20 still young? is 21? I'm not scared of grey hairs or wrinkles but at some point I must be held accountable for my actions, at some point I must do things without prompting, at some point I stop being forgiven for my mistakes-- when does that moment come? did I miss it? thinking - Atlas sometimes I see
myself in you I see a version of me that I outgrew and if you're really happy like this then that's okay but if the reflection I see is true right down to the roots I want you to know that things don't have to be this way idk if this makes sense - Atlas contrary to popular belief
(and what you might want to believe) I do not actually have it all together, I have not yet reached the point where my problems are all straightforward and caused by external sources nor am I even certain that is a reasonable goal to have. I am sorry if this causes any inconvenience. I am doing the best I can. bkajfgldjf - Atlas if it was enough to say
that I loved you, I would. if it was enough to listen, I would. if it was enough to be there, I would. but it isn't. and I still love you. I'm still listening. I'm still here. I will be here for as long as you need me, or even if you don't. idk - Atlas what I want you to know
when I die is that I have loved being a wave even as the water that was me returns naturally to sea I hope some part of it remembers its journey I hope it says thank you to the moon and shore for the chance to take this form and I hope that this wave retains its shape for even just one moment more I hope this captures the weird yet delicate balance between "death is natural and okay but I also really like being alive" that I have - Atlas I remember all the best parts of you
and the less-great parts too but sometimes it feels like those memories live in different corners of my heart, as though I know two different versions of you hmm (idk if I'm even phrasing this right) - Atlas the best tragedies oft
ring true to life maybe that’s why there’s that sense of inevitability that things were always going to end like this but maybe if we’d done things different we could have had one more day I think we spend our youth trying to be anything but ordinary, only to discover that the ordinary is what we end up missing the most. but I haven't lived it yet. - Atlas lying on my back in
the room that I grew up in wondering if this is the part where I feel grown-up yet ...time really does just keep going, doesn't it - Atlas I learned my love from you,
right down to my roots I can see them even now, glowing faint gold whenever I am mindful enough to dim the lights-- you are constancy and devotion, joy and gratitude. I am so lucky to know you. so is everyone you meet. I love you - Atlas |
Archives
June 2024
Categories |