as I look at the joys of life
both now and long ago I realize a truth that I have been told a thousand times-- that life really is about the people you spend it with, huh. it's weird to think of a truth and feel like you're only halfway done realizing it - Atlas
0 Comments
I have rediscovered the obvious--
that it feels good to do good work, to surround myself with things and people I love. I suppose I'll keep rediscovering it, if the past is anything to go by. but I would rather rediscover it than forget it entirely - Atlas I wish I could just tell you to stop
but I know that you are firmly rooted in the ground on which you stand and you will not move unless we walk together towards the same mutually unknown truth-- no, perhaps not even then. it's disheartening, but I have not lost hope - Atlas all the men
I have given pieces my heart away to have felt heavy, as though there was something broken in them that was my responsibility to fix as though they expected me to breathe life into them again. it is manageable, most of the time but it is entirely different coming out from the shadows with a girl finding out what parts of ourselves are mirrors of the other in the light and taking joy in learning about that which is not familiar to us. it feels so weirdly specific but I do feel sometimes like I've been manic-pixie-dream-girl-zoned. while every relationship is bound to have its flaws, I've found that that particular issue has only popped up with male friends - Atlas I have said 'sorry' to you so often
I wonder if it sounds as cheap as it tastes on my tongue. I wonder if you know that it is not forgiveness I seek so much as to let you know that the harm caused was not intentional and that despite how things may seem I am still blindly searching for that better path. that I would still like to walk with you, if you'd have me. -> continue - Atlas something lightly
touched my head and I was so afraid, thinking it was a bug but it was just a leaf nonsenicalities - Atlas and sometimes we do
fall too far my arms are shaking and I am not certain if I can pull myself back up again learning how to remember my strength (and not run away from challenges) - Atlas sometimes my fear of taking up space
with meaningless chatter makes me compress clear thoughts into nonsensical babble. but I will breathe, and speak again - Atlas I am pumping
artificial breath into your lungs as your chest obligingly compresses beneath the force of my hands I am hoping that your heart will learn to beat unassisted once more. thinking about friends, and what it means to be crisis support vs. life support - Atlas sometimes guardian angels
are not even aware of their own existence a middle aged man--probably harmless-- stops and starts in the middle of the sidewalk ahead of me late at night. I am only brave enough to pass him because across the street someone else is walking home and I know that if I match their footsteps they will bear witness to my fate. a neutral pair of eyes and ears means more than you might think - Atlas |
Archives
June 2024
Categories |