my emotions have rendered me useless,
by which I mean I struggled to do laundry while rolling that tight knot around in my chest like a hard candy on the tongue. I can't afford to do nothing or, if I go down that road it will be so much harder to climb out-- but is brute force the right path? what am I supposed to do? eugh boy - Atlas
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the sidewalk and the intersection.
the light, the road. it was hot but we were in the shade and the music wasn't too far away. and for a moment, just a moment, I did not think about anywhere else I needed to be. hm - Atlas the last gift nature ever gave the little bumblebee was privacy.
tucked quietly behind the slats of the blinds no one would be able to see its silent form, not without bowing their head to the little one curled up against the glass who is here but no longer here. it's been a day - Atlas I am so tired
I think I could actually watch paint dry. I could overturn every grain of sand in the universe. you know what I mean? - Atlas teach me how to pry my mind
from one thing and shift it to another, I seem to be struggling with that quite a lot these days ho hummmm - Atlas I am so sorry,
I did not see you there, I was following the bright clear line of truth and I did not want to lose it so I did not look up, I did not see you there, I am sorry hm - Atlas ai! this rain of
stuff and things to do sure is incessant. and unfortunately this is the kind of storm that gets worse the longer you stay inside. hm - Atlas I just want to do the right thing
endlessly, over and over every day for my whole life. is that too much to ask? yeah, yeah, I know - Atlas some days,
I don't think about you at all. other days, like today, I find myself poking at the memory of you over and over, mapping out the contours of this slowly-healing bruise. trying to make sense of it all. do you do the same? does the thought of me ache? I hope it doesn't. but that kind of hope doesn't change anything. I wonder if someday I'll write more goodbyes to you in poems than I said to you in life - Atlas many things were difficult, today.
but it was better with you, always better with you. hm - Atlas |
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