and as the future rolls forward
we turn to old songs songs that tell us that the world has always been big, and complicated messy and heartfelt silly and awkward and funny and true. maybe there is nothing so sacred it can't be changed. maybe time will wash all things away. but there is still this sense of continuity, that we're walking in the footsteps of those who came before. Happy New Year!! - Atlas
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I want to organize my thoughts
in a way that makes sense to all. this is often quite challenging, since the true nature of my thoughts eludes even me at times. somehow I feel I'm not alone in this - Atlas it all turned out alright
in the end. one day it won't, this I know. or maybe there is no end. maybe things are always alright, even when they're not. uhh idk - Atlas and then I found myself trembling,
on the edge of a cliff so vast and so deep I could scarcely conceive of it-- and I knew that if I went tumbling over I would never return to this place, or perhaps more importantly to the version of myself who was perched on the ledge. if I go down there, I thought, I won't be able to control the outcome. how silly of me. when a river splits, a leaf might choose one path or another but it cannot predict the ocean, nor can it go back upstream. the outcome was never mine to control. only my choices are my own. thinking through some things (but I'm hardly certain of any of it) - Atlas trust is not won
in a single act, but rather built up day by day, marbles slowly filling up a jar. a marble was removed today. I did not say a thing, partly because on some level it feels too small to mention but in another sense because it felt quite clear that you are the one who speaks and I am the one who listens. I feel like this is a bit dramatic, but oh well if it keeps bothering me in the future and isn't like. a hormones thing I'll say something about it - Atlas I don't have all the answers.
I don't even have half the questions. all I have is this one life that I've lived, this single facet of the universe to look through. my view is undeniably limited, and yet it's all I have. hrmmm - Atlas just for tonight,
let the world be gentle. I hope it cradles you, keeps you safe and soft and warm. happy, even. Merry Christmas! - Atlas it is not the same
as it has always been, things have been shifted dropped nudged out of place. and yet the beating heart remains. merry Christmas Eve! - Atlas was all this time
well-spent? will I look back on these days with fondness or regret? ...I don't want to regret any part of my life. I know that mistakes will come, and come, and come but I never want to take back a single moment of being alive. thoughts, thinking - Atlas I always seem to struggle with
the same problems. I would say I want new ones, but new isn't always better. anyways... - Atlas |
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