sometimes I wish I could cry over it.
I think that would make it easier to bear. instead I am faced with the inevitable, the looming, the challenge, fear building in me like water behind a dam, fading at the edges into static. hrmm - Atlas
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peacefully I waited
for spring to arrive, then summer, then fall. then winter came again, then spring. I swept leaves and petals, pollen and debris. always dealing with the present, anticipating the turns to come. a new set of problems and joys. then I woke up one day and realized how silly I'd been to stare at the horizon waiting for some passing, temporal stranger when the one I was looking for was me. I feel like this one misses the mark (but I'm proud of myself for actually having a mark to shoot for XD) - Atlas where is all
my urgency? I could use a pinch of crystal clarity. could have used it before all this, actually. unfortunately it appears to be something that we practice - Atlas sometimes life just
sticks a sword into your guts, messes you up a child got shot for ringing a doorbell, just ringing a doorbell, and I’m supposed to do homework? yeah - Atlas o my great enemy
who caused me to flee the bathroom in terror at the sound of your buzzing: now that I see you you are so very small. small and still, curled up on your side in a child’s repose. I do not think I could have saved you while you were alive. I mourn for you in death. I think I understand those people who let all the terrible things happen. it is funny to think about the role insects play in our lives - Atlas sometimes I am frightened by
my own lack of action. why can't I do this? I know I am not alone, but not being alone still does not help me move, still does not help me do what I need to. the cavern of my mind echoes with my pleas, all unanswered. hm - Atlas part of me wants to run away
before the rest of the world can tear me open. before I am forced to admit that my mistakes all share my face. hm - Atlas break it down,
break it down, break it down. oh, and break it down some more for good measure. break it down until the undoable becomes doable, until you can make it out of this mess one step at a time. bleh - Atlas the world, well
I would say it comes and goes but the truth is it is always here. maybe I am the one who comes and goes while the world sits, not quite waiting, but always ready for me to arrive. hm - Atlas does the sky ever
make mistakes? I don't know, I've never asked-- surely all those clouds must be searching for something. did they ever find it? unanswerable questions - Atlas |
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