& I want you to know
that when I rush to give advice to you it is because it may be the only thing holding an insecure part of me in place, and I want to help you, and if it helps you then maybe it means it's really true idk if it makes sense. I'll probably write more to this later - Atlas
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& I do think that showing up
on your worst days is what counts. to get back on the bike. send the text. crack open the textbook, even when it feels as heavy as a mountain. to try for the sake of trying. sometimes doing things is easy, and sometimes it is Not - Atlas and I still make wishes on my eyelashes
when I notice they’ve come free. I am careful with them, as careful as I would be if I made them before a malevolent genie, as careful as if they were made of spun glass. “forever” is a very big wish for such a small thing to carry, after all. so it is, so it goes - Atlas I am leaving my old
standards for success behind. it is frightening, perhaps necessary and I don't know who I will be as it all unfolds. but I will try. I will always, always try. ho hum - Atlas I hope you're well.
I hope the world is kind to you. I hope you breathe deep, relax, feel at peace. I hope that the ends of the rainbow hold still as you approach, that when you get there you find everything you ever needed, everything that was inside you from the start. ho hum - Atlas I hope sometimes that
my past and future selves are proud of me, that they would embrace me as I am without scrubbing off my faults. I suppose in the end it depends on whether I can do the same for them. hm - Atlas yes, I know,
patience. but I haven't lived long enough to know when I'm waiting for something or if the seeds beneath this frozen ground died for lack of nourishment. is it really all trial and error - Atlas sometimes we must
rotate our crops, let our fields lay fallow for a little while. sometimes it is difficult to discern rest from abandonment but I think somewhere deep in my soul, if I listen, I will know. thinking (perhaps more than I should) - Atlas I think I learned,
I think I grew, and I think that counts for something bluhh - Atlas congratulations!
you have made it out of the frying pan and into the fire. why are you relaxing do you guys ever experience a Slump when you finish a deadline/set of deadlines... even if there are still fairly urgent things to do...? but it's like the adrenaline wears off and then things suddenly get much harder? yeah. that - Atlas |
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