you are brilliant and charming,
interesting and interested. I hope we can become friends. here's to cool people - Atlas
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there is always,
endlessly something else to do. how will I know what I am capable of if I do not attempt to rise to the challenge? if I do not know how and when to step back, what will be left? blurgh - Atlas I am taking
such shaky steps forward, it seems a miracle that I can cover any ground at all. and yet-- and yet. hm - Atlas it's strange how peace is
so circumstantial. the world turns, and suddenly something that didn't bother you at all causes your heart to lurch like some three-legged animal throwing itself towards freedom from some iron cage. can I allow myself to settle? can I regain equanimity? can I smile even in the face of my folly? hrmm - Atlas I try,
I'm trying, I'm still trying. I will try again tomorrow. and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow trying to focus on small steps - Atlas just try again.
forget your mind if you have to, and try again. return to the work at hand, imperfect though it may be. and try again. bluhh - Atlas birds alight
upon my windowsill. they are here, going, gone-- the space left behind them feels empty even though I know they do not owe me anything. how can I be bereft? I have been given such wonderful gifts. trying to practice gratitude - Atlas and sometimes it hits you all at once,
how much smaller the bathroom sink seems now compared to when you were younger. you were that small once. small enough to fit under the kitchen counter. all of that was true once, it was, it was, it was. hm - Atlas even if my mind did everything I wanted it to do
I’m still not sure I would be happy. there must be something else at play, I think. the mind is a fickle organ, but I love it even still - Atlas time rolls on.
the thing is I don't want to die, I don't want to lose any part of my life. but I will, or maybe I won't, because maybe none of it was ever truly mine in the first place. hm - Atlas |
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