to my knowledge, the English language does not
have a word for nostalgia in the present for regrets that haven't happened yet but will, with time for how we return to life after witnessing a tragedy we are not ready to understand. but language evolves as need arises-- perhaps someday there will be. I guess my brain is just in Language Mode - Atlas
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eventually I will learn the rhythm of the stars
as they shake and spin and dance across the sky across the universe I am made of stardust and doing a dance of my own, after all. bleh - Atlas so you see, my dear
time really will just keep moving on and there is nothing you can do about it. except, perhaps pay attention while you can I can't believe we're so far into December already - Atlas my eyes stared straight ahead
but the light they registered was not what I saw. my mind is stranger and more powerful than even I think it is, sometimes. hmmn - Atlas how long has it been
since I tasted dew from the petals of a flower in autumn. it rains often here but I have never found a raindrop that could compare flowery language (literally hahaha) - Atlas I am learning
not to diminish sadness for true sadness is born of love, lost beneath the raging waves of the world because love is only ever itself no matter how sharp the pain or how distant the memory. if death and pain are inevitable then it seems right to at least honor what once gave us joy. hmmmmmmnn - Atlas oh
perhaps I did not need to carry this weight home perhaps it is not too late to let it go huh - Atlas sometimes I think life is like a bubble
iridescent, fragile often arbitrary and carried around on a breeze I wonder if the air inside believes itself to somehow be different than that on the other side of its pearly screen. just quiet thoughts - Atlas people are not evil because they don't want to talk to you
nor are you unworthy for not having gained their affection. in fact, there is a decent chance it has nothing to do with you at all. they are likely as wrapped up in their own heads as you are in yours. sometimes it's hard talking to someone who's struggling mentally when you're not struggling yourself. it's very easy for me to fall into thought patterns of "I'm not suffering, so if I could just get you to be/think like me then you would be fine." but that's not the truth--or at least, not the whole truth. certainly, there are certainly harmful and beneficial habits and behaviors, but some assumptions about which is which can be damaging instead of helpful. I guess that's when it's time for me to listen instead of speaking, and let them fill in the blanks themselves? (hhnnn) - Atlas it would be much easier
if love was a one-time event a singular outpouring of emotion that lasted for an eternity. but it does not. instead, love is something that must be drawn forth each day from some deep spring with shaking hands time and time and time again. but I suppose that is what makes it precious - Atlas |
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