I am torn
Between aching loneliness And staring at the sky Longing For when I might feel free again I love my friends. I love helping them through tough times--it's one of the things I think I'm good at!! And it's one of the ways I show my affection for people I care about. But with one of my friends I feel like I'm more of a "part time supporting/goofy friend, part time therapist." Where being a part-time therapist happens at least once a week. And he really needs help and support--which I'm happy to give!! But it's starting to be a little too much. And he's blown off my subtle-ish hints that therapy would be good for him, because I'm really not equipped to handle some of the things he's dealing with But I'm apparently the only person he's opened up to about this kind of stuff?? How am I supposed to tell him all this without making his self esteem plummet? Because I feel like this would prompt the "do you dislike talking to me" question and I could lie and say "of course not" or I could tell the truth and say "sometimes because this is really emotionally draining and being both a friend and a therapist doesn't work well in the long term"?? gahhhhhh rant done. but my conflicted feelings continue - Atlas
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We are arguing in circles again
Trying to prove a point So much that we fail to understand That we were really saying the same thing All along. Maybe next time we'll realize it faster - Atlas I suppose it only takes a moment
To change the world But it can take a lifetime To pick up the pieces Left behind This was yesterday's poem but the power was out so I couldn't post it - Atlas Do you hear the song
Embedded in the sky The earth The air It was mean to be heard By people like you Ho hum - Atlas Perhaps one day
I will not feel so tired all the time Because I will stop clinging To every free second of the day Long into the night (I do not know whether I should feel anticipation Or be afraid On that day.) So it goes - Atlas It is a good but
Difficult life That I have chosen (And I think if I could choose again I would not have chosen differently) Hmm - Atlas The bitter truth stares at me
But I cannot meet its eyes. "You would do better if you tried harder," it says. And there is nothing I can say against that, No defense I can muster. I close my eyes and pretend not to see. Except not really - Atlas I win and lose at the same time
By counting close scrapes As victories Hmm - Atlas I will not give up on you
But I cannot save you You have to do that yourself I can be very pretentious with my philosophy sometimes. Sorry about that - Atlas You are so very far away
And my memories grow ever more faint Will I forget your eyes? Will I forget your smile? Will I forget your laugh? Will I forget your life? I don't think I will (people have funny ways of staying in your memory like that) - Atlas |
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