love, rising like smoke
to be where you are. burnt incense and offerings scattered around like dying wildflowers. I reach for another. unlike the sky I am not endless. I cannot stay here forever and wait, not until I crumble into dirt, into dust, into smoke, rising to be where you are. I do kind of like the images in this one - Atlas
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these days, I almost want to laugh
when people tell me they feel alone-- not to be unkind, or out of derision, just oh, so has everyone I've ever known. so it is, so it goes - Atlas cause once you figure out about love and death there’s really no going back, is there
all your poetry is forever stained with it you can try to forget it bury it beneath grocery lists and takeout but it’s like water it holds no shape of its own, it seeps yeah - Atlas and as I float along, detached
I cannot help but wonder if I am handling this well or if I am not handling it at all hm - Atlas mortifying is a good word for it,
this ordeal of being known I flinch back every time we brush elbows, even when I know it won't hurt. new roommate! she's very nice but for reasons I have yet to fully discover I am being plagued by random bouts of cringing into oblivion at myself - Atlas the world is still
and quiet and I am tired. like sinking beneath quicksand - Atlas you are very good at feelings,
good in a way I understand. but when the fire comes what do you save? when the train comes do you leave or do you stay? and you‘ll be sorry, of course you will. and that matters. of course it does. it just doesn’t change anything. - - - - - - - - - - we often confuse perfection with permanence, I think. a perfect rose does not bloom forever, because the purpose of a flower is to bear seeds and the seeds cannot remain seeds, cannot remain attached to the rose because their purpose is to grow. there is beauty in transition also, in change, even if those changes are strange and painful. we are not meant to last forever. two poems today (the first one is called "Matters Of Course", I think. it fits) - Atlas you said you didn’t want us to take sides,
and I’m not. or I am, but the side I’m on is just everyone working things out, and maybe finding some kind of happiness at the end of all this. but as we all sit together with our hearts somehow managing to be heavier than the silence I can’t help but think that the odds might be against us on this one. things fall apart (and sometimes they stay together.) - Atlas I would almost describe us
as that Hayao Miyazaki quote, that one about two people mutually inspiring one another to live. you tried to make me better, I tried to make you feel better, and in the end any changes that came were too little and too late. in my experience ironically the love that has changed me the most is the love that never asked me to change at all. maybe that’s where we missed our cue. I hope you found someone who suited you better. I think I’m finding mine-- not in one person, but in many places and people and things. but I still think of you and hope you’re well. God, I hope you’re well. on old friends - Atlas and why do we always think
that something has to last forever for it to be good or worthwhile? be here, now. a day, a year, and a lifetime are not so different in the eyes of eternity. be here now. hrmmmm - Atlas |
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