I want to be the kind of person
who stays and helps to the end. I want to stay. I want to help. to begin, a beginning - Atlas
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it's been a long time
since I've felt like I could call someone a friend after the first day of knowing them. and it happened twice!!! at the same time no less - Atlas even here,
even now, even this-- I am so grateful for it all. every little bit. thank you - Atlas I am learning
once again that discomfort does not always have to lead to suffering. it is a difficult lesson and yet I am grateful to learn it. aaaaah, periods and bug bites. just filled with philosophical revelations - Atlas there is a poem
in the light coming through our kitchen window. I wish I knew how to write it, it really is quite lovely. something about grief, and gratitude, and almost a quiet joy - Atlas oh, but I aspire
to learn how to learn, and to learn how to learn how to learn-- to what end? I don't know. honestly I think I just like learning but it also feels like there's something I can't quite name yet (mayhaps an unvoiced belief that if I learn everything, somehow I'll be able to make it through life unscathed/all right in the end? that I'll make the right choices?) but learning really IS helpful. it can be hard to tell the difference between a healthy desire to make better choices and a perfectionistic desire to make the "right" choices - Atlas on days when things are difficult
at least I know I am growing, that I am learning how to work within and around my limits. hrmmmm - Atlas if you give a college student
nerf guns and pancakes, chaos will ensue. it is a good kind of chaos. guess who participated in nerf club for the first time baybeee - Atlas my mind automatically reaches for
everything I did not do, all the ways that by action or inaction I fell short but I do my best to guide it gently onto a kinder and more reasonable path. the process of growth is slow, and I often need to remind myself that perfection was never the goal - Atlas time
is passing, but I am doing my best to remain in the present. to be mindful of the future and the past but focused mostly on the moments here, now that I am moulding beneath my hands. not really sure if this one actually says much XD - Atlas |
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