I catch glimpses of my own ghost
walking down the halls. she is happy, bright, and free but every time she passes me she leans in towards my ear and whispers never again, never again, never again. I hold her hand as best I can (translucent though it may be) until we are ready to say thank you, and then I leave. saying goodbye is a strange thing - Atlas
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I have so many lovely words
and thoughts. but push came to shove, and I stumbled only half-aware I was doing it and now I am left reeling, reaching, grasping. gasping. I know that the next best step is to regain my balance and move forward. but knowing and doing can be two very different things. making mistakes becomes infinitely worse when the consequences are a) large and lasting and/or b) involve other people being inconvenienced in literally any way. blerghhh - Atlas will it help if you wait?
...no. then go. I'm scared. I know. conversations with myself - Atlas and so the raindrops fall
from the low and heavy clouds, as they should scattering across the outdoor table, my lunchbox, my shirt and so it is. and so it will be for just a little while longer. hm - Atlas welcome to the ranks
of human beings the ones who make mistakes they swore they'd never make so do your best to fix it, and remember welcome to the ranks of human beings you're in good company slept in for the first time I can remember today (woo) - Atlas we are approaching
an ending, and somehow being able to see it coming still does not seem to be doing my heart any favors. but this gentle tearing sensation in my chest is quite familiar, I felt it when I came here. this gratitude for things that are leaving. hmm - Atlas so many things I could have,
should have done. so many things I did. and for the most part I am content, but sometimes I hear the echoes of things that never were, and wonder. hmm - Atlas these ghosts,
they come so suddenly you're standing there in front of me and already I see your shadow double forming in the corners of my vision. the moments just before goodbye are twice-haunted hm - Atlas I don't know what I'm doing, man.
every time I start to think I do the floor drops out from underneath me. how is it possible, to see something coming so clearly and still be surprised when it happens? eh - Atlas beginning again.
again. again. it stops being romantic after a while but is still no less true, no less pure. hrm - Atlas |
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