I find myself amazed
by the simplest things-- a small caterpillar so still and camouflaged my eyes mistook it for a branch the first five times they passed over it I was very proud of myself for finding him (I've been keeping track since they don't move very far) - Atlas
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my reflection very rudely came up and asked
"aren't you tired of being afraid all the time?" and the answer was yes but I was too afraid to say it anxiety is being more of a friend than usual lately - Atlas I am increasingly aware
of all the things that are keeping me alive how strange to think that one day they will not be there when they are all I've ever known - Atlas and if I have survived the weight of
all the promises I have broken to myself before, then I can only hope that I will find that same strength within me now hm - Atlas I am sorry,
I will learn how to return your love and your promises eventually but I have not learned it yet - Atlas and perhaps life is not
an activity, but an experience there is a difference somewhere in there, but it's hard to articulate exactly what - Atlas the fact that I have a heartbeat
is reassuring the fact that I am aware of its contractions in my chest like background noise filling a room is less so I guess I'll wait and see - Atlas I am afraid
of all the things I know will break someday the things that cannot be replaced it is strange to think that one day I will join them in that place of broken things hm - Atlas sometimes the light at the tunnel is the sun
and sometimes it's an incoming train either way, you won't need to worry about the tunnel for much longer that's the thing about deadlines. they happen and they're over whether you're ready or not - Atlas oh, I have done so much
but is it enough (is it enough) hmm - Atlas |
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