the past has weight
I am running over it with my hands like it’s an old rug-- scratchy, colors faded but still enough to keep out the chill maybe I shouldn’t make a home of it but I don’t think I should make a home without it, either. thinking about regret, and my relationship with it--I don't think it's bad to learn from your mistakes, or even to feel bad when you do something that goes against what you know is right (or true to yourself.) I think that when I think about how I want to live a life without regret... I guess what I was really trying to say is that I never want to look back at my life and regret *the fact that I lived*. (something something ~the choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not~...) - Atlas
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at least this time around
I can laugh at my frustration-- it really is my hubris with those plug-and-chug problems that gets me in the end, especially when they aren't actually plug-and-chug. you can only throw your arms up in the air so many times before you start shouting "hey macarena" - Atlas teach me how
to be brave. teach me how to be scared and do things anyway. teach me how to not be scared? teach me how to be okay. I sure do love waves of Inexplicable Emotions - Atlas I just wish I could help.
help everyone, help you, help myself. but I can only do what I am capable of right now, with these two hands. watch me build towards a better future. I can't promise that I'll get there, but I'll try. though the present is also good - Atlas I'm trying to remember to accept things
the way that they are, including myself, because no matter how I change I will always be the way that I am. when I step out into the cold day and smile, do I love it because of or despite the way it stings my cheeks? ho hum - Atlas this mile-a-minute mind
would eat itself alive if given half a chance all depth of thought turned inwards, knives churning under my skin. where does all the time go (truthfully I know) - Atlas oh, but I would sweep out my mind
with a fresh breeze if I had the chance. I suppose my breath will suffice. crack open the boards on the windows and let some light in - Atlas |
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